Hi. My name is Matthew, and I am a "toxic" saint. I struggle with my faith [love] at times, and my head (I ask hard questions) sometimes too. Sometimes I struggle more than I love.

I came here simply to keep my mind (and my typing finger) active. I am not "lonely" because I have a wonderful wife who loves me (she is my best friend), two girls, and we are also in the process of adopting. I think my self-esteem is pretty good most days. I am a stay-at-home dad.

My true desire is to simply have an intelligent conversation about my life, my experiences, my faith [love], and my sometimes lack thereof. It's nice having someone to "bounce" things off of during the day... that is a little older than seven. My evenings and weekends are usually pretty full. I'll talk about anything. I have a cat, a dog, a car, a truck, a house, kids, a wife, guns, and have had 4 RVs. I like pizza and  I don't like most veggies. 8^) "Gun control" is being able to hit your target.

I like to talk with folks that can share without feeling compelled to "get me told" go all religious on me. I have lost two children.  NOTE: If you like to debate, I can do that ...but it tends to make me quite aggressive and blunt in my writing style. Moniti estis!

That being said, I will not delete this topic if you make me angry, hurt my feelings, disagree with me, don't take what I say as The Gospel, reject my advice, don't want my prayers (see below), or even if you make me cry. 8^) I expect the same.

That being said, my IQ is 137. I hold a BA in Criminal Justice (I know, it should be Criminal Punishment or Victim's Justice) and a minor in Sociology. For the record, I think Freud was half nuts. I changed my minor from psychology to sociology for that reason. I tend to think like a lawyer. I come from an educated, christian background. I like short sentences. 6^)

Attack my ideology if you like, but not me personally. If you think that you are God's gift of revelation/teaching, you will probably grow to hate me (which is fine by me). However, you can save me some time (and a red finger). Simply hate me now (I'm toxic) and go talk to someone somewhere else.  8^)

More about me? I have two "learning" disabilities, ADHD (can you tell) and dyslexia. However, I still know how to read The Bible for myself (with a fondness for the NA 26/27 Interlinear). I also know how to think for myself. I probably WILL NOT believe anything you say that The Bible says, unless it really does ...within The Writings "best evidence" context (and I do check everything).

Best evidence... "as close to the original as possible."

Because I can read, I am also aware that The Bible contains glosses. I am also aware that there is ongoing work to try and determine what the original text was. I am also aware that there are thousands of discrepancies, and that the original text is lost. What we have is only close. Look it up and see for yourself.

I'm much more concerned with how Jesus lived His life, than what is recorded that the apostles and disciples did after He left. I try and follow him, not them.

I will NOT believe that you hear God's voice every minute of every day. I used to think I did, and it lead to personal pride and [almost] the destruction of my life. Therefore, I will not receive any "word" you speak into my life. Jesus is The Word that I am interested in, and I have already received Him. 6^)

You are NOT welcome to pray for me ...unless you ask first, and I agree. I promise I will never "pray" for you (you know what I'm talking about). I totally reject those type of prayers. 8^P

Again...

Hi. My name is Matthew, and I am a "toxic" imperfect saint. PLEASE DO NOT reply to this post ...unless you think you can handle that. I always have Netflix.  8^)

Blessings,

M4tth3w

Tags: matthew, toxic

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Hey Roy,

I agree. I feel that if christians simply lived by the "Golden Rule" ...there would be a lot less christian bashing going on. Kinda back to the whole "Jesus I like, it's the christians I can't stand" idea.

Like I said before, the world didn't have a problem with Jesus. It was the religious folks that hated him...

Blessings,

M4tth3w

Hi Matthew,

Last night, I reread your initial post. In it you wrote that.... My true desire is to simply have an intelligent conversation about my life, my experiences, my faith [love], and my sometimes lack thereof. It's nice having someone to "bounce" things off of during the day... that is a little older than seven. I'm a little older than seven (times ten) and I'm wondering if the desire you expressed is being realized.

Roy

Hey again Roy,

To answer your question, yes.

I have enjoyed our conversations. Also, note that I wrote in that first post that I am totally fine with not talking about anything "religious." I'm totally okay with it, but it isn't what I live for. 8^)

For example, my life today was spent (eleven hours of it) re-plumbing part of my house. The house I live in was constructed in 1910. Any time anything went wrong with the house, the previous owners seemed to simply cover up the problems.

For example, what will be the master bedroom used to be a small store. It later became an apartment. There was a kitchen area (that is now gone) that had seven layers of flooring. (One layer was intact newspaper from 1954, during WWII.) The walls in there were three layers in places and four layers in places. There is no insulation.

I tore out the "bathroom" which only had a toilet, and I am moving everything into the maser bedroom. I had to remove all of the ancient plumbing and update it with PVC and new copper. Today was new sewer line, new toilet, and new cold water line to supply the shower, vanity, and toilet. I got the toilet functional around 7 this evening.

Blessings,

M4tth3w

Hi Matthew,

It seems that we've had some similar experiences. In the 90's, I had a 190? house in Wyandotte, MI. I'll try adding a picture, if this works, then in the picture it's changing from yellow to blue. I also had to replace some of the plumbing.

Roy

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I'm surprised that this worked. It seemed like it wasn't going to finish. I closed IE and  restarted it. When I came back to the discussion, the picture was there.

Hey Roy,

That is a really cool looking house! All of mine have been two story houses. I have never had a three story one yet! How long were you there, and what all did you have to do?

My first "house" was a motor-home. It was a 27 foot "Class C" Holiday Rambler. I purchased it instead of going on the mission field that year (as I had planned).

My next house ...actually was a house. I purchased it in Sharon PA. I paid $15,000 for it, and lived in it for five years while fixing it up. I sold it for $48,000 before I even got it finished. 8^)

My next house was in Johnstown PA. I still own it. I paid 15 for it too. A friend is living in it, fixing it up, and "renting" to own it.

My third house was in Huntsville AL. It was built like a barn (Dutch Colonial I guess) but it had a sauna, heated in-ground swimming pool, koi pond, and a huge 24X25' master bedroom. I purchased that house right before the market tanked in 2008. I fixed up the koi pond, drained years of yuk from the pool and repaired it. I also rebuilt the floor in the upstairs bathroom (the short list). I lost tuns of sweat equity on that one, but was still able to pay off the Johnstown house with what little I made selling it.

We really enjoyed the pool while we lived there.

The house we now live in was only $13,000. When I get through it should be worth around $80,000. As things go, the less I pay the more I sweat! 8^) Yesterday was a sweat day. There will be many more should I live to tell the tale.

When I am finished, there will be R30 in the walls, new wiring, new plumbing, new walls, new stairs, two and a half new baths, a new kitchen ...and most likely, a new roof.

Blessings,

M4tth3w

It is remarkable to see men poor into such as real estate; temporal things, wood, hay & stubble. Even after a market sours, it's as if a bad habit hard to break. While Christ should be all, though not for the many.

Marshall Diakon said,

"It is remarkable to see men poor into such as real estate; temporal things, wood, hay & stubble. Even after a market sours, it's as if a bad habit hard to break. While Christ should be all, though not for the many."

To which I must ask (since I am toxic) ...Do you live in a house? Have running water? Use electricity? Eat? Drink? Do you poop? Pee? How about shower? Brush your teeth maybe? How about work at a job? No? How about food stamps? How about government assistance?

What a bunch of "wood, hay, & stubble." LOL!!! 8^P Since you have come here, and I have had the foresight to quote your entire post (just in case you delete it) please allow me to tell you about something that makes me sick.

Something that makes me sick are people who act spiritual only to disguise religious un-Law-ness (look it up in The Interlinear).

That being said, you don't know me. All of the houses I have purchased and sold... I have sold WAY BELOW market value. My first neighbors told me that, "You took the worst house in the neighborhood and made it the nicest." From there, it has been a "ministry" of sorts. I fix them right, and make them safe and efficient. People tend to like that for some reason... 8^)

The house with the pool? The city had declared it unfit to live in. I gave it new life. The house in Johnstown had been vandalized to the point that the guy that did the vandalism told the neighbors that "no one will ever live in this house again." The house I now live in failed city inspection. Structural stuff, plumbing, and heating work had to be done before we could even move in.

So you see Marshall, I have this crazy idea that people need food, clothing, shelter, and love. That is why I am so toxic. I can read The Bible for myself (Remember the forgiveness thing you took a stab at?) and I find Jesus was concerned about the same things (food, clothing, shelter, and love). I also have this crazy idea that I can fix up useless junk and make it nice for folks that don't have my skills. I also believe that "the workman is worthy of his hire" so I don't give my houses away. And YES, that is some of the "how" I take care of my family.

Something about "if any would not work, neither should he eat." comes to mind here,  right along with

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

However (I speak as a stupid religious fool) I have been on the mission field three times. I have quit multiple jobs to go where there is need. I have worked in two christian children's homes, and one juvenile home for adjudicated teens. I have lived in an old motor home for years. During part of that time (two years) only making $150 a month from the church where I was working as the children and youth "pastor."

From the time I was 14 I have worked (for free) with children's church ministry, a christian scouting group ...and even ran the sound booth on Sunday nights. I helped build a church in Arkansas for free. (I speak as a fool.) 8^P

Now, let's hear what you have "done for Jesus" Marshall. But more importantly, do you work? Do you have an actual job, or are you just one of those hateful guys that sits around all day behind a keyboard acting super spiritual?

Told you I am toxic... 8^)

M4tth3w

Oh, and one more thing... remember the forgiveness topic? I openly accuse you of attempting to deliberately cause strife here. What say you Marshall?

sin is toxic.

Matthew, if your response above truly reflects who you are and hope to be, then leave it here as a memorial for your self: you will die in your sins.

But if you are ever to be finished with putting up your own defenses to God and man, then the Christ will be saying to you to go and dispense with all the things you have acquired, giving from what you have to the poor, and then come and follow Jesus with your cross bearing.

Marshall Diakon tried,

"sin is toxic.

Matthew, if your response above truly reflects who you are and hope to be, then leave it here as a memorial for your self: you will die in your sins.

But if you are ever to be finished with putting up your own defenses to God and man, then the Christ will be saying to you to go and dispense with all the things you have acquired, giving from what you have to the poor, and then come and follow Jesus with your cross bearing."

Diversion is a very sophomoric debating technique Marshall. So, I'll get right back to the questions at hand in a bit,  which you failed to answer. They really are simple questions. But I'll digress for a sentence or three, just to make another point. 8^)

Please note that I quoted you in entirety again. And YES, I am going to leave your obvious attempts to cause strife up for all to see. It is to your shame, not mine. You are doing this to yourself...

As you may now be able to see, your opinions are irrelevant to me. AND, you can't anger me with your "holy" sounding words. In fact, you responded much as I predicted (in my mind) that you would. You simply shamed yourself again. 8^P

Anyway, let me get back to those pesky questions you tried to dodge. 8^)

0.) What have you "done for Jesus" with your life?

1.) Do you have need for a bathroom in the structure you live in?

2.) Do you use water?

3.) Do you use electricity?

4.) Do you WORK?

5. Marshall, are you "worse than an infidel"?

Again, What say you!?!

M4tth3w

Marshall, would you be willing to look again at what you have written here in the words quoted from your post directed toward Matthew? As we all know, the choice of words that we text often communicate what we don't actually intend.  As the words stand, they're particularly inappropriate, by my reading, and certainly by Matthew's reading as well. I'd urge that you review them and discern whether your words merit editting, or possibly even retraction. I'm specifically pointing to your words, "Matthew, if your response above truly reflects who you are and hope to be, then leave it here as a memorial for your self: you will die in your sins."

 

Marshall Diakon said:

sin is toxic.

Matthew, if your response above truly reflects who you are and hope to be, then leave it here as a memorial for your self: you will die in your sins.

But if you are ever to be finished with putting up your own defenses to God and man, then the Christ will be saying to you to go and dispense with all the things you have acquired, giving from what you have to the poor, and then come and follow Jesus with your cross bearing.

What you may regard as "inappropriate" is echoed from John 8, and as I was directed.

Jim, because Matthew's life and care is at risk, please give foremost consideration & communications toward what is most crucial in love. If we do not directly warn others who are in danger of death, what then?

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