Trying to find people who have had a similar faith journey and/or similar interests

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Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on December 29, 2008 at 12:44am

Hello, Larry!

I'm not one who fits with your description, but I just wanted to say hi, and welcome to SimpleChurch...!

It's nice to see you again, elsewhere.

Hope you find what you need...

Shalom, Dena

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Permalink Reply by LastDazeMan on December 29, 2008 at 9:50am

Hello Dena,

Yes, we seem to be on many of the same discussion groups.

I hope you are having a great December.

Happy New Year!

Grace and Peace,

Larry

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Permalink Reply by LastDazeMan on December 30, 2008 at 4:26pm

I went and looked at eHarmony questions to get an idea of how they do things.

I started writing a php and MySql application on the internet but got overwhelmed after thinking about it for only a little while.

All I've really got in my head so far is to have a multiple choice sort of thing that goes something like this.

What is the denomination in which your father was baptized as an infant?

a) Lutheran - Missouri Synod
b) Lutheran - Wisconsin Synod
c) Lutheran - ELCA
d) Lutheran - Other
e) Roman Catholic
f) Episcopal
g) Orthodox
...
z) My father was not baptized as an infant.


What is the denomination in which your mother was baptized as an infant?

a) Lutheran - Missouri Synod
b) Lutheran - Wisconsin Synod
c) Lutheran - ELCA
d) Lutheran - Other
e) Roman Catholic
f) Episcopal
g) Orthodox
...
z) My mother was not baptized as an infant.

What is the denomination in which your father was baptized as an adult?

a) Baptist
b) Assembly of God
c) Evangelical Free
d) Lutheran - Other
...
z) My father was not baptized as an adult.

What is the denomination in which your mother was baptized as an adult?

a) Baptist
b) Assembly of God
c) Evangelical Free
d) Lutheran - Other
...
z) My mother was not baptized as an adult.

And then I would ask if they grew up in the denominations in which they were baptized as infants, if not what denomination did they grow up in?

And then I would ask about other denominations that each parent was involved in.

Then I would ask about the denominations the person taking the survey was 1) batpized in as an infant 2) as an adult 2) grew up in 3) was involved in as an adult.

Then I would go on to ask about spouses' denominations.

The I would ask about the person's attitudes about grace etc.

After building a database to store all this stuff I could then write a program to match people based on their experience.

A lot of work but I know I would love to correspond with someone who has had experiences in the same denominations as I have, read the same books I have, and listened to the same tapes as I have.

Whatcha all think of my idea?

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Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on December 30, 2008 at 6:19pm

Larry asked:

Whatcha all think of my idea?

Honestly? It concerns me, Larry...

I do understand and recognize that we human beings like to be with those who "get" us. That's a wonderful thing to feel like we're understood by others. And that does happen, in moments, and sometimes with someone we're close to. Most of us want that (or think we want that) in marriage ... and yet, as is often the case, opposites attract (& then we spend the next few decades trying to make that different person conform to our way of thinking, LOL!). It's funny, and yet it's the source of so many arguments and divorces - "Why can't you think/be/do like ME?!?" As if we are the standard for being...? As if God didn't know what He was doing in creating so much diversity in this world? As if He may not have some purpose in putting us together with those of a different perspective?

My husband is practical, balanced, and blessed with common sense. And he's also very romantic and playful.

I am creative, prone to extremes, and blessed with insatiable curiosity. I'm also rather introverted and studius.

We bring wonderful counter-balance to each other ... our lacks are met with the other's abundance. And, because we're both rather passionate and opinionated, we also clash ...! We've learned to understand each other (it took some dying to self, which was part of God's plan), and even to appreciate, enjoy and celebrate our differences (& when we do clash, we work through it, and get to enjoy making up!)! I don't, in the end, when I really examine it, WANT another one of "me" in the same house, LOL! How utterly boring it would be, to run into a clone of myself, to always be in agreement with them, to never have a challenging/interestin conversation, to never learn from them! One of us would be redundant, utterly unnecessary.

Now, that's in marriage -- what about in fellowship?

You seem to believe that it would be good, perhaps even God's plan (?), to put folks into like categories, for the purpose of fellowship. I see that that's already been done -- with, as you pointed out, denominations, with a disastrous result. In this scenario, all the "knees" of the Body group together ... all of the "elbow" join together elsewhere ... all of the "feet" somewhere else. The whole Body then, separated out, divided from one another, not interacting with one another, sitting around and agreeing with each other all the time, thinking themselvs separate from (& better than) those "other guys", and never learning from the point of view that those who are different have to offer. Never really being the Body at all.

How is that good? It's been happening. The result has been to create groups of Christian ghettos, walled off from each other, and the rest of the world.

Your questionnaire, then, strikes me as so beside the point. It's a wall-building tool.

How about this: how about trusting the Holy Spirit to know how He wants to bring follks together? Perhaps that's what it means to not 'forsake the assembly"? Perhaps He puts us together with those who challenge us for a purpose -- to grow us, to challenge us, to get us outside of our own limited thinking?

There's another underlying assumption here ... that we're supposed to arrive on "right beliefs" and then remain camped out on them. What if He wants to move us more and more into all truth? What if that's a process, and it would require letting go of things we thought were truth, only He shows us something beyond that, or builds on that?

If we're all in our tidy groups, hemmed in by the resulting group-think, fearful of letting go of what we have there, we may entirely miss whatever God has for us.

We have the freedom of enjoying whatever it is He brings our way ... whether that's a time of "solitary wilderness" with Him (critical time of unlearning and relearning that we dare not pass by!), or a time of being with many, or a time of being with a few. Some may be with us on our journey for a short season, while others may join us for a lifetime. He knows what we need, and who would most bless us, and/or be blessed by us.

While I understand the longing I assume is behind your attempt to link with "like minded" folks, Larry ... it feels contrived and controlled to me. It smacks of a human-led thing, rather than a Spirit-led thing.

What is GOD showing you to do...?

May you allow yourself to have whatever it is He has for you...

Shalom, Dena

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