Unschooling ~ Success Stories

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Shelby T. Dawson on February 18, 2009 at 7:33pm

What exactly is unschooling?
I home school my 8 year old grandson. Some days getting him to work is so hard.
Any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by PerfectlyOne on February 18, 2009 at 9:29pm

We have three children who are now 16, 13, and 11. The youngest (also a boy) can be a real stinker sometimes about doing anything including school, his chores, going to bed, etc., but we sure are blessed to have him and his siblings. It often seems like he simply hungers for more individual attention and this is his way of asking for it. He exhibits some signs that many people would lable as ADHD, but we don't think of it as any sort of disease or disability. We find that if we give him a consistent struture to work within, regular praise with occasional rewards for doing well, if we hold him accountable for not meeting his requirements in a timely manner, forgiving him when he trys his best but stumbles a little, that this works well most of the time for him. We also use God's word to guide all the 3 of the kids in how to approach all aspects of their lives including school, athletics, etc. Doing our very best at everything and then giving all the honor and praise and glory to God, even when we are not necessarily having fun, is one core values we try hard to instill in the kids mostly by displaying this ourselves in all we do. We are far from perfect at that ourselves though and trusting in the Holy Spirit to make us more and more into the image of Christ each day.

Shelby T. Dawson said:

What exactly is unschooling?
I home school my 8 year old grandson. Some days getting him to work is so hard.
Any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Gwen Dell'Anno on February 19, 2009 at 4:15am

Unschooling is in essence unstructured learning focused on simply living life. The basic premise is that children are born with an inate desire to learn and when we simply follow their lead, they will not only learn what they need to learn but do it joyfully. There are lot of closet unschoolers out there and up here in Ontario Canada we even have a conference with guest speakers, kids activities and lots of time to share ideas with other unschoolers. (I'm pretty sure there's something in the states too, in terms of a conference). It has been my personal experience that when I try to "force" Alex to learn something on my schedule in an unnatural way (ie... now you must learn your 2 x tables) that he simply resists, mentally, physically and emotionally. When it is of benefit to him to be able to read something (ie. instructions on the video game or a Calvin & Hobbs cartoon book) he actually works at it and so is learning to read... without much pain. I "caught" him one afternoon reading Calvin & Hobbs to himself and chuckling away. When I checked in, he truly was reading most of the words. When he says.. what is that word mom, I tell him and now he knows what it is forever. (We do read together at night a lot before he goes to bed, and Calvin & Hobbs is one of his favorites). Just yesterday I "caught" him reciting fractions with the TV and he was getting them right. We have never sat down and "learned" fractions but he does bake with me some (uses measuring cups) and we "share" portions of oranges, etc... so he has obviously found that information useful and relevant. Then last night we were having trouble getting the house warmed up (we burn firewood) and I commented that it was because we had the fans turned off so the heat was all sitting on the ceiling. "That's because heat rises mom", he said to me. When I asked how he knew that, he said.... "I do learn stuff from those science shows mom".

To me it is sort of like unchurching (that's what I would call stepping out of the Institutional Church box and seeking fellowship and growth from others of like mind) ... what is being called Organic or Simple church by others. As I desire to learn more about God and grow closer to Him, I spend time in the scriptures, and I spend time listening to him, abiding in Him. He tells me where I should be growing, changing, drawing nearer. This can happen also in the fellowship of others who are able to share their own insights, stories and words from God. In other words, I search out the resources where I know I can find the answers to my questions and yearnings and so I engage in self directed learning. That's not to say that others don't play an important part in that learning, but I can't "get" any of it when my spirit is resistant to "getting" it.

Anyways... back to unschooling..... here are some great links. http://christianunschooling.com/ http://untraditionalhome.com/ http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/earl_stevens.html http://connections.organiclearning.org/ http://www.nipissingu.ca/jual/index.asp

For us, it makes so much sense and as I see it "working" (ie. I see how he is learning stuff that will be important/useful in his life and I see him becoming a self directed learner) I am beginning to relax and enjoy the process.

Let me know what you think.

Shelby T. Dawson said:

What exactly is unschooling?
I home school my 8 year old grandson. Some days getting him to work is so hard.
Any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Julia Good on February 19, 2009 at 3:17pm

I think I'm too chicken to unschool... However, in my regular homeschooling I'm a lot more laid back than most. I also use a very interactive/holistic curriculum that is a lot better than a lot of the ultra-structured curriculums out there (that I experienced growing up)...

My daughter is also ADHD, so I find a little structure helps her cope with stuff and actually stay focused long enough to learn something, but not too much structure or it stifles her imagination...

Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on March 2, 2009 at 12:25am

I'm Dena ... mother of 8 on earth (21, 19, 16, 13, 11, 9, 7, and 2). We did private and public school for the first 5 years of my eldest's schooling ... and then plunged into traditional homeschooling (homeschooling with curricula)... which we did for about a dozen years, 'til I got pregnant, at age 44, with #8. I was sick, and just soooooo exhausted, even for a year after his birth.

During that time, I cried out to God ... telling Him things He already knew ... that I was *not* a good teacher, that my children hated learning the way I believed I had to teach them (via curriculum, learning _____ by ___ age). I became aware of unschooling at that time -- as if it fell into my lap. We've been unschooling for the past 2 years now ... and my children are learning to thrive, out of their own motivation for learning (& if they don't get the point, they don't retain the information they "learned", even if they manage to spit it back out in order to pass a test -- unless they're motivated, it makes no sense to them, and it's lost).

It's been quite a wild ride, and I'm learning as much as they are ... about how *I* learn, about how God works. It fits with simple church beautifullly ... in fact, it was through seeing that we trust God with our spiritual growth, and yet we think we have to manipulate, and use man's thinking, for educational growth, that I "woke up".

Once I realized that no one and nothing can force a child to learn before they're ready, and that I was, in effect, attempting to "teach pigs to sing" (annoying both myself and my children), and worse, not trusting Jesus to lead in this area of our lives, it became clear.

Shalom, Dena

Permalink Reply by jeromy and Marcelia on April 5, 2009 at 12:03pm

I like starting my oldest out with copy work from Proverbs,Then strait into one to two hours of math. Then We have her read and she is done.

Simple yet effective , I like Saxon math because we have found if they don't review everyday they forget really fast .

Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on April 5, 2009 at 12:17pm

I appreciate that you've chosen this approach with your child. However, "having her" do anything is not unschooling ... unschooling is about modeling *how* to learn, as a life-long joy, rather than directing *what* to learn.

It's more about wisdom than about knowledge... and it's more caught than taught.

It's also about a way of life, rather than a series of tasks to be completed, hoops to be jumped through ... and it's never "done". When learning is a joy, and when we recognize that we're created to enjoy learning all the time, that it's always happening, we learn to not get in the way of that, and to not either stifle the natural joy of learning, nor to kill it, by enforcing what we think "should" be learned, when and how, and in what order.

Homeschooling is taking the institution of school into the home -- unschooling is abandoning the concept of school altogether, and working with how God designed the human being to learn.

It can be a tough transition, moving from schooling (whether in public or private locations), to unschooling, for we've been long and deeply entrenched in this approach to learning. Weaning can be painful, even fearful. It requires that we honestly and fearlessly challenge every unquestioned thought we ever had ... most won't do that. Most prefer the apparent "safety" of continuing to do what we've always done. We prefer conformity to freedom.

He will lead, if that's what we really want - and He can change our wants, if we're open to that.

Shalom, Dena

Permalink Reply by Annette Reesor on May 4, 2009 at 10:31am

I have been homeschooling my son for 5 years now and this is the first time I've stumbled upon this website.

I began homeschooling after my son started suffering from severe anxiety attacks at school. It's a long story, but it was not until a teacher friend of mine, suggested that if it were her child, she would pull him out of school. I had no idea this was even an option! (I'm well 'schooled') At any rate, after meeting with teachers and school administration, I did pull him out of the school for the remainder of the year. Over the summer, his anxieties subsided, and our family life felt normal again. I soon decided he would not go back to school.

The following September, I tried to recreate school at home, buying extensive curriculum and downloading a copy of Ontario grade 5 expectations etc. I wanted to be sure that if my son were to re-enter the system, he'd be on par with his peers. The first few months were pretty easy, because my son was fully motivated, and was happy to not be at school. We established a nice routine, and worked at all the subjects I laid out for him to cover. But in time, I started to feel as though we were 'just going through the motions' and the material did not seem to interest him. I panicked, and started reading everything I could find about homeschooling, and tried to find support. This was the first 'shift'. I suddenly recognized it didn't matter whether he studied Canadian government now, later on, or ever. I dropped half of the material I had purchased, and decided to focus on the basics; language arts, math, and social studies. That was our first year.

Since then, I've learned so much about myself. I've read many books and articles about learning and my views have shifted numerous times, each time a little closer to embracing the whole concept of 'unschooling' ..... except for that in my circles, there is a tremendous amount of pressure to get that high school diploma. So last fall, when my son was to start grade nine, I enrolled him in an 'online virtual school'. He was taking Math, English, Geography and Business. He did very well on the assignments that he submitted and I was comforted that the 4 years of relaxed structure homeschooling, did not harm him one bit. Unfortunately, there were aspects of this virtual school, which did not fit with our family schedule: 9 pm 'office hours' and online class discussion that he was expected to participate in. But the thing that really ended it, was meeting one of his teacher live, who insulted my son by suggesting that someone else was doing his work, because his last math assignment he had scored 100%. The teacher also described to my son the setting in which the exams would be written, instilling total fear by saying 'there will be mean people with stop watches, and it's stress filled' Neither my husband or I could believe what was being said, and were dumb-struck. Needless to say, my son was very upset, and refused to continue the 'virtual school' program.

Coincidentally, I had the next Saxon math book tucked away in my closet, so we pulled it out the next week and began work at home once again. I purchased a few other resources, such as 'Word of the day' and a science workbook, but I also researched what would be needed to earn a high school diploma, if not enrolled in an accredited program, and found that he would be able to earn a diploma by writing a GED exam. I forget the details of it now, but we both decided this is a very reasonable option.

I also have two daughters: the oldest is a unique individual who 'thrived' in school. The second, also a model student and graduating this year, has 'survived' school - it is only this year, that she sort of 'enjoys' school.

Meanwhile, my son has explored his own interests. He purchase his first unicycle with some birthday money off of ebay. He has excelled and won numerous competitions, as well as earned a 'sponsorship' by Unicycle.TV. He's has learned how to design/create web sites, he loves to make/edit videos. This past school year, he has taken up photography. He purchased a nice DSLR camera off of Craigslist, and is experimenting with lenses, lighting etc. (He did a family portrait for my sisters family, that is very good.) He continues to amaze me.

We attend Community Mennonite Church, and for the most part, he enjoys that, however is reticent about joining the youth group. He does play road hockey with the neighbourhood kids, and has joined a unicycle club that he attended twice a week during the winter months. I think he gets enough socializing, but of course I still worry, whether it's all enough. I'd love to hear of others who have unschooled their teen aged kids. I feel like a pioneer in many ways, although I know others have gone before me.

I have appreciated the magazines "Natural Life' & 'Life Learning' by Wendy Priesnitz, and was really affected by the book 'Dumbing us Down' by John Taylor Gatto.

This has been 'long-winded' to say the least, but I hope it is an encouragement to others, and would love to hear your responses.

Annette



Dena Brehm said:

I appreciate that you've chosen this approach with your child. However, "having her" do anything is not unschooling ... unschooling is about modeling *how* to learn, as a life-long joy, rather than directing *what* to learn.
It's more about wisdom than about knowledge... and it's more caught than taught.
It's also about a way of life, rather than a series of tasks to be completed, hoops to be jumped through ... and it's never "done". When learning is a joy, and when we recognize that we're created to enjoy learning all the time, that it's always happening, we learn to not get in the way of that, and to not either stifle the natural joy of learning, nor to kill it, by enforcing what we think "should" be learned, when and how, and in what order.

Homeschooling is taking the institution of school into the home -- unschooling is abandoning the concept of school altogether, and working with how God designed the human being to learn.

It can be a tough transition, moving from schooling (whether in public or private locations), to unschooling, for we've been long and deeply entrenched in this approach to learning. Weaning can be painful, even fearful. It requires that we honestly and fearlessly challenge every unquestioned thought we ever had ... most won't do that. Most prefer the apparent "safety" of continuing to do what we've always done. We prefer conformity to freedom.

He will lead, if that's what we really want - and He can change our wants, if we're open to that.

Shalom, Dena

Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on May 4, 2009 at 1:12pm

Annette -- I love, love LOVE how you met your son where he is, and enabled him to discover who He is (as God has created him to be), and downplayed the notions of others (mere humans, all!) who think they know how *everyone should be*.

When we give people "back to themselves" we've done a beautiful thing!

If you're so inclined, you could check out a list I'm on, Radical Christian Unschoolers (though you don't have to be "radical" to hang out there, learn, ask questions, absorb ... see if it's a good "fit" for you).

Here's the link to join, if it seems right to you: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RadChristianUnschoolers/

Shalom, Dena

Permalink Reply by Tammy Engelbert on September 24, 2009 at 5:29pm

Gwen, I hesitate to comment here because it's so far past when you originally posted here about unschooling, but I'm feeling my way thru this unschooling thing, as I think it most aligns with my personality and feelings about education, but I admit that I feel clueless. I have 4 kids; ages 3,5,6, & 8. I've been homeschooling from the beginning, but am having trouble with the logistics of letting go of a dependence on workbooks for the young ages of my kids. I'm always encouraged by success stories from unschoolers, as I think that my husband is a little intimidated and uninformed about what it really is and whether it can really accomplish the task of educating our children well. I'm happy to find encouragement here. Glad to know that I'm not alone. :)

Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on September 24, 2009 at 6:08pm

Check out the link I gave above, back in May ... Radical Christian Unschoolers is a wonderful site -- with hundreds of experienced (as well as brand-new) unschoolers.

You can learn SO much just by reading through the archives there ... some tremendous women there -- dear friends!

Shalom, Dena

Permalink Reply by Dena Brehm on September 26, 2009 at 9:26am

The point of unschooling is to *not* do school ... school is an artificial means of learning.

So, unschoolers do not use curriculum ... we use life as a means of learning ... always-learning, as a way of life. Real-life applications bring on learning-experiences ...

We *have* learning materials in our home (from blocks, to encyclopedias, to reference books, to old curricula materials we *once* used ... but we encourage learning as a way of life, by modeling it, by encouraging a healthy curiosity, by exploring things together, as the child shows interest (& unless they have interest, and motivation, nothing we *make* them learn will stick).

It's a whole 'nother way of looking/thinking about learning ...

Shalom, Dena