Tim Mather's Blog (7)

I do not believe in Santa Claus.



I remember the day that I found out he was a figment of some adult’s warped mind. We had gone shopping in the family station wagon and the groceries were piled high in the back. When I was a kid, there was no such requirement as wearing a seat belt, so we were free to frolic around the car uninhibited. In my travels, I came upon a grocery bag bulging with candy.



My brain exploded.



Why would mom buy candy when the Easter Bunny was… Continue

A Finally, we come to Acceptance. The good news is what’s out there ahead of you. The

bad news is that it may be years away. I figure it took me about eight years to fully recover

from my institutional paradigm. Of course, I was a clergy person perpetuating the lie within the

institution, so I was a hard case. Many of our friends report similar timeframes, but you might

do it quicker.



One thing you should remember in the grieving process: It’s not like you take… Continue

The next step in the grieving process represents, what is for most, the low point. Perhaps Depression is best revealed in the question: “Is this all there is?” Manna was a miracle as the Israelites trekked through the desert, but the same thing every day gets old.



Real old.



It is like the vacation from hell: driving across the country with the kids and dog in the station wagon day after day after day. Being constantly on the move away from Egypt toward the Promised Land is… Continue

B Following the anger stage, we naturally move into Bargaining. After enduring the pain of the escape, there comes a sort of clarity that says, “Maybe church does work.” It is the same seduction of perceived comfort the Israelites expressed when they craved the leeks and garlic of Egypt. Life as an escapee is exhausting. We are constantly moving; we have to feed ourselves; no one tells us which way to go; it seems like we are living out the apostolic job description.



“For it… Continue

Now that everyone seems to be finished with the accusations and the inane discussions about trivial points of doctrinal disagreement, don’t you think it’s time to get to the real heart of what it means to be free of the institution? It is simply this: To assist in midwifing one another out of our stagnant, and potentially deadly, institutional thinking.



The only important doctrine in the Kingdom is about relationship – relationship with Father and relationship with one another. On… Continue

This is the next part of the grieving process we expereience after leaving the ic. The whole thing can be found in chapter 14 of Escaping Church: A Guide to Life Outside the Institution which can be found at www.TimMather.com.



A Stage two of the grieving process is Anger. This is the moment when the lie becomes clear and the wound is inflicted. We’ve been lied to: the clergy said the institution is God’s plan for the Called Out Ones.



They lied. And we’re… Continue

The following is an excerpt from my book Escaping Church which can be found at www.timmather.com in ebook form.



Your recovery from institutionalism will take time. Give yourself permission to heal from

the chains. Take time to heal well. It is much the same as what one experiences grieving the

loss of a loved one. A grieving process will take a similar route Kubler-Ross describe as denial,

anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, the acronym for which is:… Continue