Deinstituionalization Part II - Anger
This is the next part of the grieving process we expereience after leaving the ic. The whole thing can be found in chapter 14 of Escaping Church: A Guide to Life Outside the Institution which can be found at www.TimMather.com.
A Stage two of the grieving process is Anger. This is the moment when the lie becomes clear and the wound is inflicted. We’ve been lied to: the clergy said the institution is God’s plan for the Called Out Ones.
They lied. And we’re angry.
They said, “This is all there is,” but we discovered there is a whole new reality out there. We’ve been held captive to another’s vision, when we could have received vision of our own. We could have been a contender! Instead, we are barren, serving as a warm body to fill the pews and coffers of another’s empire.
The anger grows as the revelation unfolds. We discover that the institution exists only to perpetuate itself while we are just a grain of sand on its vast sandy beach. It doesn’t really matter if we are there or not, the institution will continue on unimpeded.
We find out how much we really lack. We lack spiritual authority. The pastor is serving as the “covering” over our family, a pseudo-Old Testament priest positioned between us and Father. We abdicate the spiritual authority over our children to the Sunday School teachers. We abdicate our spiritual growth to the pastor. We discover to our horror that we are full-grown adults still crammed into the incubator of the traditional church structure.
The Called Out Ones are scrambling to know why we are here. What is our purpose? I have been appalled at the response to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, not because of its message, but because it is a basic right of the children of the Living God to know their purpose and to live it out. The book’s success only reflects the utter failure of the institution. Tens of millions of us had to buy a book to find out this rudimentary truth: We are important to Father and to His plan for the planet. We have a purpose. Who knew?
A spiritual toddler should know that!
For the past twenty years books have been offered to help people discover their spiritual gifts. But what good is it when we are not allowed to function in those gifts, unless they fit within the constraints of a pastor’s vision? They only produce frustration.
Lots of Escapees are angry about discovering that all this time they have been serving a man instead of serving Father. Since the institution is designed around the position of pastor—an extra-biblical invention of man—everything done is about him. We have expended energy to build his empire and have paid for his buildings and his vision.
When you are in this part of the cycle of grieving, you must resist the temptation to give someone a piece of your mind. We have found that many of the books over the past decade or so on the subject of house church have been written while the author is in the anger stage. It is only natural to want to vent when we are appalled, but it has only served to alienate our brothers still captive within the institution.
“In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26), is the best advice for this time of anger. It is not a sin to be angry. It is a sin to attack others simply to punish them for your hurt. So, be angry and do it well. Express it to Father and let the Holy Spirit soothe your pain. The most important thing is to encourage gatherings of Called Out Ones to not waste time sitting around venting their anger toward the institution.
As we are connected with Escapees, anger is usually their first expression. We offer our ears to let them vent without joining them in their rage. Our help is given in the form of coming along side in their hurt, and to listen. We offer no pat answers for their ferocity, only a loving arm to lean upon. Remaining in the anger for too long is counterproductive. Once they have vomited their pain for a while, it becomes time to move to wipe their brow and press them towards healing. Encourage one another to “bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” (Romans 12:14). We recommend The 2 Minute Miracle by M. Lynn Reddick as a blessing guide.
A Stage two of the grieving process is Anger. This is the moment when the lie becomes clear and the wound is inflicted. We’ve been lied to: the clergy said the institution is God’s plan for the Called Out Ones.
They lied. And we’re angry.
They said, “This is all there is,” but we discovered there is a whole new reality out there. We’ve been held captive to another’s vision, when we could have received vision of our own. We could have been a contender! Instead, we are barren, serving as a warm body to fill the pews and coffers of another’s empire.
The anger grows as the revelation unfolds. We discover that the institution exists only to perpetuate itself while we are just a grain of sand on its vast sandy beach. It doesn’t really matter if we are there or not, the institution will continue on unimpeded.
We find out how much we really lack. We lack spiritual authority. The pastor is serving as the “covering” over our family, a pseudo-Old Testament priest positioned between us and Father. We abdicate the spiritual authority over our children to the Sunday School teachers. We abdicate our spiritual growth to the pastor. We discover to our horror that we are full-grown adults still crammed into the incubator of the traditional church structure.
The Called Out Ones are scrambling to know why we are here. What is our purpose? I have been appalled at the response to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, not because of its message, but because it is a basic right of the children of the Living God to know their purpose and to live it out. The book’s success only reflects the utter failure of the institution. Tens of millions of us had to buy a book to find out this rudimentary truth: We are important to Father and to His plan for the planet. We have a purpose. Who knew?
A spiritual toddler should know that!
For the past twenty years books have been offered to help people discover their spiritual gifts. But what good is it when we are not allowed to function in those gifts, unless they fit within the constraints of a pastor’s vision? They only produce frustration.
Lots of Escapees are angry about discovering that all this time they have been serving a man instead of serving Father. Since the institution is designed around the position of pastor—an extra-biblical invention of man—everything done is about him. We have expended energy to build his empire and have paid for his buildings and his vision.
When you are in this part of the cycle of grieving, you must resist the temptation to give someone a piece of your mind. We have found that many of the books over the past decade or so on the subject of house church have been written while the author is in the anger stage. It is only natural to want to vent when we are appalled, but it has only served to alienate our brothers still captive within the institution.
“In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26), is the best advice for this time of anger. It is not a sin to be angry. It is a sin to attack others simply to punish them for your hurt. So, be angry and do it well. Express it to Father and let the Holy Spirit soothe your pain. The most important thing is to encourage gatherings of Called Out Ones to not waste time sitting around venting their anger toward the institution.
As we are connected with Escapees, anger is usually their first expression. We offer our ears to let them vent without joining them in their rage. Our help is given in the form of coming along side in their hurt, and to listen. We offer no pat answers for their ferocity, only a loving arm to lean upon. Remaining in the anger for too long is counterproductive. Once they have vomited their pain for a while, it becomes time to move to wipe their brow and press them towards healing. Encourage one another to “bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” (Romans 12:14). We recommend The 2 Minute Miracle by M. Lynn Reddick as a blessing guide.
Views: 3
-
Comment by Ken Randolph on December 1, 2008 at 4:38pm -
Thanks for your post brother Tim. I have enjoyed them very much. As I posted earlier I left the i.c. in Jan of 07. But God had been preparing my heart for years. I went on a mission trip to the Philippines in 2000 and while praying I sensed God directing my thinking towards a question. "Do you know the difference between dominion and domination?' In searching out this answer doors in my thinking were opened that helped me to see how pastors operated in a fashion that is pure domination. You can imagine my uneasiness in delivering a message to 500 Philippino pastors on this topic especially since I had never pastored a church in my life and I knew that my message was attacking the western styled christianity that they had based their ministry. Since that trip I felt I was on a collision course with my own church activities and ideals. Because of the preparation in my heart I did not experience a lot of anger and the Holy Spirit would check my tongue when I had the opportunity to blast away against my previous pastor or others in the i.c. For that reason I still have a good relationship with my former pastor and othes still in the i.c. I believe its important to maintain an attitude of humility as much as possible and yet remain true to the convictions of your heart. One thought that has kept me humble is that the pastors were fullfilling a role and expectations that I had as well as the pastor. We all were tied in to this cultural/traditional system. I believe it was much easier for me to break from this system because I had no finacial stake in keeping this system going. I'm not sure I would have been so true to my convictions if loosing a salary was involved. I'm not trying to defend the pastors only giving others that may have spoken in anger something to think about. Anyway the Lord through all this time has allowed me to be fruitful in a jail ministry and in 2009 we are going to the Philippines for about 6 months (Lord willing).
-
Comment by Tim Mather on December 2, 2008 at 7:29am -
Ken,
I was pastoring when I came to this revelation, so it cost me not only my salary, my vocation (it turned out I had no other marketable skills), and worst of all my extended family. My father is a pastor, my brother is a pastor, and we have eighteen generations of pastors behind us (all the way back to Cotton and Increase Mather, who were the ones who shut down the Salem With Trials). So, I had to recover all the way down to my DNA.
"Pastor" as it appears now, it a man-made, impossible position to fill. We minister to many as they struggle with the system, or seek to escape the pastorate as we did. They are, as a species, destroyed people. There are a few healthy ones, I suppose, but I've never met one. So, pity them, pray for them, and thanks for not attacking them. Many of them contact us like Nicodemus at night and say something like, "You know, church doesn't really work." And many of them who have said that to me are "successful" with growing churches, and the whole bit. But, Father has spoken this over the planet and those who are listening--even those who are pastoring--have heard Him saying, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" :-)
Prison ministry is close to Father's heart. I bless you in that.
Pursue Father! That's the true adventure!
Cheese!
Tim
Comment
Our Partners
Badge
© 2012 Created by Dale Interactive.
You need to be a member of SimpleChurch to add comments!
Join SimpleChurch