RECONCILIATION
RECONCILIATION
Kriston Couchey
MY FATHER AND I
It was 3:00 AM when my brother burst in to my dorm room with the news that my father had been killed in a plane crash. My father was an apostle in function, planting churches wherever He went, but unrecognized in a church organization that did not believe they existed anymore. His plane went down in Homer Alaska while on his way to another small group of believers He was discipling.
It was 3:00 AM when my brother burst in to my dorm room with the news that my father had been killed in a plane crash. My father was an apostle in function, planting churches wherever He went, but unrecognized in a church organization that did not believe they existed anymore. His plane went down in Homer Alaska while on his way to another small group of believers He was discipling.
As I look back today on the days of my father's life and our relationship, I cannot help but feel both sadness and joy. Sadness comes from the incident at around 4 years old. My father was angry, and when he shoved me I accidentally smashed into a door frame. I was going to please him by cleaning those greasy shoes, but all I got in return was anger and pain. Pain that kept me from bonding with him for years. Even after this incident his anger quenched my ability to express my own feelings. I know he had grief over my lack of affection toward him after that.
The joy came with his attempts to try and reach me. In my high school years he took guitar lessons with me just to get close to me. He played cribbage and Othello with me with a vengeance. When I graduated from high school we became golfing buddies. But the real joy I had was my opportunity to honor him the summer before his death in the fall of 1987. I was 22 and commercial fishing in Alaska. The Spirit of the Lord came on me while at sea and I wrote a letter to my father. I had never written my father at all, but I wept and wept as I wrote to my Father how proud I was of him. I remember writing: "I want to be half of the man you are". That letter was healing to me. I was able to express to him the love and honor I had never been able to fully express. Little did I know it would be the only letter I would ever write him. He wrote a letter back with love and encouragement. My father was my spiritual as well as earthly father, and I am proud to be called his son.
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. ~Heavenly Father~
A PARALLEL SAGA
I have experienced the same type of dynamic in the church that I experienced with my own father. I remember trying so hard to be submitted and pleasing, yet finding that any reality I received from God was a threat and caused anger. I was doing what I thought was right and helpful. It is hard to be rejected and even mocked by those who were meant to raise you up into maturity. After a time you become cool toward the fathers and their ways in order to not be hurt anymore. Any relationship is cut off and no bonding happens. You go somewhere else where there are no fathers and all are orphaned sons. I see this in the church today and it makes me weep. The sons who should have been trained gently have been driven away by the insecurity of fathers who have never been fathered themselves in a healthy way. The pain goes both ways.
The question I have is: where is the love of God? It is because of offense the the love of the body has grown cold. But, could it be that the sons could win back the hearts of the fathers they have spurned because of offense? Or vice-versa? Could it be that the kingdom of God is about a God kind of Love that does not live out of reaction to hurt, but shows the love and honor of Christ to one who has offended or has been offended?
THE KINGDOM IS NOT JUST REVELATION BUT RECONCILIATION
I must confess I have had a heart change and repentance lately. Many have been waiting for a wave of kingdom outpouring that will sweep the nations. I tell you without question it is a wave of Love that lays down it's life for others. Don't try to impress me with your prophesies, impress me with your ability to tear down the stronghold of the hearts of men with Love! Father is not asking us to compromise the truth of the gospel of the kingdom for anyone, or submit to fleshly and religious ways. But if we are not a living expression of the kingdom, what good does it do to preach the kingdom. I don't know about you, but I am done with the pointing of the finger. I am done with ruminating on the wrongs done me by the "organized church" and it's fathers. I choose to lay my life down for them. I will cry out REPENT! But it will not be with a heart of anger over the way in which I have been treated, it will be with a heart of brokenness for the way in which the enemy has killed, stolen and destroyed the people of God.
There are men and women of God who have persevered for years that have been faithful in what they have been given and are still held in a measure of bondage to religion. I have been moved by the Spirit to love and honor people such as these. I have seen that my dishonoring them through finger pointing and speaking accusingly of their lack does nothing to further the kingdom. While I cannot build as they build, I can build what measure of relationship and trust they are willing to build. God is building with love and relationship. Religion is building a structure that will inevitably fall. Let us build with love, and when the walls of religion fall, the structure built with love will be a place of refuge for all.
In His Love
Kriston Couchey
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Comment by Jim Nduruchi on June 9, 2010 at 10:18am -
Brother,
Am encouraged by your story, your testimony, and your reference to your own life, matters that are obviously close to your heart. This makes me encounter your spirit along my path in a personal, more meaningful way. Yes brother, we many times think we're doing the right thing, only to find our little finger burned in the process, sometimes by the very people who should have done otherwise. It's unfair, uh! But I want to thank God for one promise He has given in His word-- that there is a reward after all. After we've done all that we could possibly do, going an extra mile that so and so did not recognize or even appreciate, our Father will finally say, "Well done, thou faithful servant." The simple things that we do on daily basis. The disappointments felt in the process. The sacrifices made in His cause. The love given to even those that deserve no love but justified hate. He takes an inventory of everything. Our Father will do something about it. Oh, I love what am writing!
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